We stared across the garden like stones

Now summer houses vacant homes

Still ghosts they haunt these pasture lands

With all they have


Where families lived out their whole lives

Generations on your father’s side

And obligations you knew

You could never fill his shoes just like that


I came up close just to know what was on your mind

A dreaming statue thinking over a life left behind

And of demands left unspoken

Silent promises now broken


Well you sold the farm and moved to the city

For a formal education no more hands cracked and dirty

Still those sleepless nights

Can’t determine if the choices you made were wrong

Or if they were right


The tombstones mark a name and time

Some 40 years husband and wife

And things have changed since they were young

And you longed for something different

And new



Where do you go at night

You know I ask myself

A thousand questions again

Waking up in the dead of night

Wondering if you’ll be back

Tomorrow tonight

Some dare to dream

But where to where have you been

Torn clothes pounding heart

Can’t remember


Will you stay tonight

Or take me with you outside

Can we go together

Just this one time

Because I’d love to dream

To dream for a moment


Where do you go at night

Where do you go

Now there’s a distant drum

A long way from home

And suddenly everything seemed terribly wrong

As if I had been asleep all along

Tomorrow tonight

Somewhere where all is stone

You come to frightened to the bone

A warm touch but miles apart

Right beside me


Mister tin foil

Trapped in amber stuck in time

A way to live life

With all the chaos happening outside

I’ve secured a place to hide

If I die here in December

Will the world still revolve


There’s people knocking to come inside

Invade my thoughts and read my mind

Leave me alone death to the spy

To the private eye

There’s nothing here to see

Would you believe

You keep on passing by

My two foil-covered screens

You keep on passing by


But you know some days

I just don’t want to wake up

Anymore so mind your own


A lovers’ quarrel a trick or treat

Drunken cacophony

Through the walls in the street


She told me once my son

People will stab you and just run

Don’t ever let your guard down

No not for anyone


But still some days

I just don’t want to wake up

Anymore will you mind your own

And just leave me alone



This heat makes me feel so strange

Like there’s something going on

Going on

The sun tells it to my face

Tells me that I’m missing out

You’re missing out on something


The people hatch to a new scenery

I flee from the crowded street

To cool off from the heat

A wave from the sidelines beckons me forth

I’m so far away

Away from home from something

What’s that something


It’s an odd sensation that I cannot describe

Like a sorrow and a longing and a change of mind

An annual feeling rises to the ceiling



Lunar living

Lunar living once upon a time

Before dreams turned to ash and you woke up in the real life

You’re mistaken don’t you know

Crash landing on human shores


Lunar living never talk about

Even a second in the future let them never find out

Yes I wanted to be a part

But interaction seems impossible


I’m so terribly lost in this world


What am I doing here beside

Walking sunshines carefree minds

All was silent on the moon

And how I long to get back soon


Be careful with those dreams

What happened to ambitions

That did not pan out

What of the fortune-seekers

With one thing on their mind

There’s always tomorrow

To have another go

There’s always tomorrow

They keep telling you so

She’s waiting at the station

They told her she was good

And that she should pursue her dream

If she could


But be careful with those dreams

For they could break your heart

When shooting for the stars


Escorted by delusion

And a fever that won’t go

With tremendous dedication

And hungry soul

And all around the actors

Aspiring for the stars

With one-way golden tickets

And dead set hearts


You’re back to where you started

Back to watching promises

On the television

In your childhood home

After living off of scraps

In skyscraper land

Trying to make a living

Doing what you love


She was always on her way somewhere

Hey there where are you going

She said I’m going where the wind blows

For an eternity I’ve been rootless

I let chance decide cast all plans aside


I run through the park through the fields

Through the high-rises to find where I belong

Always on the run going somewhere never tied down

To anything or anyone


Never I was never

Never enough for her never

Merely an option and she my priority

When you’re as slippery as an eel

Could love ever be real


She seized the day and ran away

Simply went up a mountain disappeared down a fountain

Restless and unfettered and hard to live with

Like a weathervane she turned

Always on her way somewhere

She was always on her way somewhere



With trembling hands tight around your waist

You’d go

Once wary of each step you’d take

But no more

Now you don’t care for nothing in the world

If new sceneries unfold

As long as every movement leads further

And further from home


And in the morning we leave for a ride

Me and the strangers arrive

Freezing and sleeping on a cold dark night

Traveling side by side


And once the train has ground to a halt

And cash is low

There’s a certain foreboding

On dead-end roads

For every time this happens someone whispers

I want to go home

Back to their family

The reason for departing


I dreamed I was leading a jet-setter lifestyle

As light as a feather alive

Immune to gravitation to the watching eye

To the hand that strikes



How I longed for dawn

For a beacon to chase away

What was waiting after all

Tomorrow is another day

We were captured by the moon

With six months of night to live through

Held prisoners held on

To the breaking of dawn


Are we nearing the first rays

Working overtime this landscape

Drove some mad and some away

What is night and what is day

Will you write back to me soon

Remind me of the bright afternoons

And the shadows grow long

Await the breaking of dawn


Birds of Passage

There’s rustling in the wind

Through lightning and storm

Twenty beats in a second

From wings overgrown

And the rain keeps on pattering

On red brick roofs


Been living here for years

For years and months

Never once took a detour

No I never strayed once

What do you find across the river

At the no fishing sign


Are there lush green landscapes

Or just people’s backyards

Will it be able to fill

The hole in a heart


And the birds of passage

Always know where to go

With the changing of the seasons

And with the first flakes of snow

And me I’m bound to the ground

Observing grey clouds


But I want to feel

And truly be alive

And I want to know

What’s on the other side


Back Outside

The men in blue they reached out for you

Found somebody lying on a bench cold and blue

In the English park

They pulled you up and checked any sign of life

There you were displayed and ready to die


Dressed and inside in a cordoned off section

The drugs had finally worn off you’ll be staying for the night

For your own protection


And when the temperature drops

You’re gone like a shot in the dark


Now tell me who will catch you

Keep you sheltered this time

As you’re emptying all that you can find

And still running into trouble

Running into the night


I was there a cautionary tale

Everything I had I carried with me everywhere

Mostly the nightmares

Exhausted every single resource

Waking up confused holed up in a makeshift home


Back outside



A cavernous sound hollow and drowned

Took me to its innermost heaven

Pale complexion gray as the ground

As whispers drew me further in


She felt soft soil under her feet

Exposed herself to sunray

First time sensations of color and heat

And of night and day


I was a visitor here

Her breathing

Let me know I was close

And hadn’t disappeared

Do you wake up in the night

In a twilight zone

Do you dream of this

Or of someone

Or of someone unknown


Will you let me know

Am i getting closer

Or is it just too late to find a way home

When you’re just beyond a familiar zone


I was a visitor here

Just dreaming

Amid murmuring sounds

From something near

And to spend another night

In a twilight zone

And to dream myself free

To be someone



baby pull the blinds down

and shut the world outside

because this universe is ours

and yours and mine only


seventeen square meters

or heaven if you will

just as long as we’re together

and when people stood still


we were dancing in your room

i’d always wanted that

we were wasting up the hours

hope time’s on our side

and i couldn’t see were i stepped

we fell down to the floor

yes just rolling on the floor

and succumbing to the night


then the dark thoughts flew away

I hoped you’d never go

yes I hoped it would be the same

wherever we would go

or my blood would turn to water

simply freeze or vaporize

into a flash photography

of a moment in our lives


the parrots down below

speak in tongues I don’t follow

set phrases fixed expressions

faces I don’t want to know


we led a quiet life

adora and I

and it lasted just this winter

while praying for a lifetime


baby pull the blinds down


I was here

as you scream the void returns

echoes for answers

just that feeling in your heart

just that feeling in your heart

“i was here” is written on the wall

of the underpass

and you touch the letters and wish

that you knew who’d written it

I wonder


and you take a small step forth

a little closer

and read “Vega -85”

a shadow from another time


yes I was here

I lived here and I held someone dear

yes I was here

is there anybody picking up

a signal here


here we stayed and became part

of the interior

it’s like i’m waiting and waiting for

this whole city to just explode

it won’t be happening tomorrow

it won’t be happening this night

we’re insignificant people with lips of stone

frozen in stances


but I was here

I lived here and I held someone dear

yes I was here

is there anybody picking up

a signal here


is there anybody there?


Fragments of dreams and desire

hiding under pillows

from thoughts that won’t go away

longings and needs lie dormant

dreams you won’t entertain


you see pictures of friends overseas

hear stories of successful careers

can’t hide from it forever

you can’t hide from it forever


so still my darling with dreams and desire

as you try to push them away

just to make it through the day

and just to breathe

just to breathe


some wake in the early morning

bury their head in work

and stare through office windows

at the ticking real world


so still my darling a life unfulfilled

is lived by others

some with a stronger will

still every dream and desire

seem impossible to kill

as you try to push them away

just to make it through the day

and just to breathe

just to breathe


Little more than an echo

the mannequins would talk for hours

you seemed so afraid by their side

one of them laughed and drained you of blood

the other one held your mouth


maybe you hit the ocean floor

maybe you have nothing to say anymore



struck by sudden sorrow and longing

as rooms grew into great halls

little more than an echo

is all you know


you wish you could disappear

and never to return

yes any place but here


you should go out for a walk

yes vanish into the dark


Mind to mind

don’t you know

we’re synchronized by mood

when it pounds in your head

i get that too

and although we’ve been apart

for a long time know

you know that each time we want

we know what’s on each other’s mind


when you’re out walking alone

absorbed by the blues

and there’s no sight

of another soul this afternoon

as if trapped in a void

circling the block

i sense from afar

something’s got a hold on you


it’s a pale succession of days

from when you wake up

until you’re off to bed

sending waves to communicate

it hits me

leaves me wondering

if everything’s okay

and all the while i live my life

next to people i don’t recognize


but i recognize you

yes i recognize you

me in you


Nature worshippers

they spend months in the snow

warm pagan blood still flows

from long ago

a village enshrouded in night

and for the sun to even rise

they must sacrifice


and the sun it finally hits

the glorious one bestows upon them

his great gift


and the gods were pleased


i came here in -83

a child of lebanese refugees

with eyes too young to perceive

the deity of the flowers birds and trees


the gods created this


Home, what’s a home?

Home, what’s a home

on my way back to a small dark flat

miles away from where my heart is at

home what’s a home

the lights are on in the room upstairs

and faint voices emanate from there


cold and alone

it’s been four days since my eyes closed

still under the covers in bed

and the radiator’s dead

if i go where would i go

to a happy house where warm light glows

and fall asleep and finally get some sleep


such simple things seem so hard sometimes


made for this world

some people weren’t made for this world

or they end up somewhere

among strangers and choking air

now they spend their lives

tracing back steps to their heartland

but i know there’s a place for me

a place where i should be




sees her chances slip away by the hour

watches the carefree minds

as they take what they want from life


an inconspicuous bashful heart

some people don’t ask for much

they just wish to be

strong enough for this world

i see you

to be noticed and to be heard

i see you

i hear you



always longed to be part of something

to have a place to go to

and something to come home to

i just want to escape myself

try on the shoes of someone else

the type of person who is never deterred

by all the challenges

of the world that people face

i see you

an unseen stranger lost in space

but i see you

i hear you


i see you


I would love to walk with you

i would love to walk

to walk with you

yes i would love to walk with you

through unfamiliar

streets and avenues

and see things as you do


will you walk with me

yes walk with me


do you wear your heart

on your sleeve

desires and insecurities

because i know that

with desire comes suffering

this all-consuming suffering


i just know it’s true

i just know

i just know it’s true

because i do that too

i just know



there’s a certain reason why i’d like to meet

will you meet me up on aurora street

got something that’s been on my mind

and it’s eating me up from inside

if you could see me tomorrow


i guess there is not much that you could do

as you orbit around some distant moon

but to hope for collision

a brief reprieve from

yes from your old solitude



will you meet me up tomorror

i need to say something


we are born alone and we die alone

in the meantime all i really want

is to experience intimacy

to be close to another human being

yes close be close to another


and you

the only one i’ve ever felt close to

that’s what i wanted to convey to you

so will you meet me up tomorrow

i need to say something


A cold wind is blowing your hat off

Misty morning quiet and gray

Will we meet again

Will we meet again

Autumn falls in the shape of dry leaves

A hundred years ago to this date

When you left me

And this city

What are you doing back in this town

Did you manage to settle down

We could meet again

We could meet again

Because I’ve stayed here too long

To notice

The days the skies shifted to blue

A dream of you

Of us two

And all I see is children

I’m surrounded by vacant eyes

And all I see is people

Contented with their lives

Yes it really hurt me darling

To be left behind

We could meet again

A place in the world

As the years go on

Failures pile up one by one

I keep crossing empty streets

30 years old and more lost than I ever was

Well at least we got each other

My friends and I

Still we look

For a place in the world

People are settling down

Raising families living different lives

And me I’m reduced to a drone

With a dead end job

Serving interests unknown

Yes we thought we would go far

At 21

And claim our own

Our place in the world

A place in the world

Do your dreams involve me?

Lonaly I need to know

Will you stay some time or will you go

I’ve had some doubts about our future

When your plans seem to change

Every month

You tell me

Baby we’re going on

Knowing the outcome

I won’t settle for this anymore

Involve me

You said you’d move to Rio

Just let your whole past go

Does that involve me

I want to start a family

I was sure it would be you and me

We’d fantasize

About our future lives together

But always with a certain degree

Of sincerity

I know it’s hard to hold

Vows made long ago

But back then did your dreams

Involve me

You went to study abroad

And came back transformed


I chose to stay

Is it dark where you’re staying

Above that sad café

Above that café

We’re up here in the stronghold

Of academia

And still as clueless as we ever were

Baby I don’t want to leave you

In a state like this

For some imaginary happiness

You say

There was never any question really

Where I’d end up

In the same town I grew up in

An hour from the big city

By bus

Some people they never venture

They don’t venture very far

Well I hope you’re happy

Right where you are

Because I chose to stay

I chose to stay

Still late at night

At night when you’re all alone

Thinking about

The places you could have gone

Away from this space

That we call our town

It does not have walls that confine

Still all we did was circle

Within the same grounds

Never went beyond

Because I chose to stay

I chose to stay

And maybe that’s okay

Spring has sprung

The sun exposes your fears

Melts your thin cover

Reveals reflects your tears

From a half year slumber

Feelings awake

I’ve slept from October to wake

To wake up afraid

I didn’t want to see

I could have stayed in hibernation

Leave everything that I feel

And abandon all sensations

Because it hurts too much

Yes it hurts too much

To wake up afraid

No I don’t worship the sun

I’d rather stay in the dark

In your arms

So won’t you hold me tight

Won’t you hold me tight

In your arms

Spring has sprung

I was happy unaware

Curled up in a cave

Immune to all demands

What the outside world craves

A shock to the system

Yes it’s an annual tradition

To wake up afraid

The desperate has a mission

No matter where you go

There’s something you should know

That you are a passenger

Who’s going to a place called anywhere

Here comes the train

Filled with unknown names

Desperate and on a mission

Like you with one destination

There are times of ease

When days run smooth

Then you wake up from contented years

Realizing that you’ve been dead

Because something comes along

Yes it fired off a gun

The wheels back in motion

Such urgency and devotion

The road that you’re on

Is a goal in itself

It gives you a purpose and

Don’t forget about that

Because a desperate person

At least is someone alive

So don’t be ashamed

Of the hurting the condition you hide

We’ll meet again in heaven

You said goodbye to shadows

Haunting every waking hour

And never again would you be

Held back by this world

I know we’ll meet again in heaven

Years from now I suppose

Far from the solace you couldn’t find here

Some say it’s a selfish thing to do

How can they be so cruel

When most days were

Living nightmares to you

With all the choices exhausted

And no other way out

As you said goodbye

You took your life in your own hands

For the first and the last time

See you on the other side

That’s what I hope

Too many observations

From a high-rise at night

To alleviate the chaos inside

Estranged and invisible

Just like a forgotten ghost

That no one remembers anymore

And all the people around me

Carry such strength

Such incredible strength inside

Yes we’ll meet again in heaven

In the future my friend

See you on the other side

Such incredible strength inside

I call you home

I call you home I call you home

I’m never lost never alone in the dark

You take me down

Through an unknown town

In rundown streets

Across the faceless masses in the park

When you’re lonesome you can call me

We could talk for a while

About sorrow and longing

And the weaknesses we hide

I call you home I call you home

Some walk around uncertain

Of where and why they are

But you navigate through concrete fog

Through factories and forests

Down a pathway of your own

And baby when you’re sleeping

Do you know where you are

Still searching for solace

And consolation

On occasion

Can you hear them calling out

Those who have no place to hide

Cuts right through

Notes from a failure

Could you talk to me in the dark

Baby before you go

Just for a moment or so

Now everyone has gone

Yes everyone has gone

I woke up with everyone gone

Could you take me anywhere

Yes I mean it I don’t care

And tell me all the stories baby of

All the people I’ll never get to know

And the music I’ll never hear

It breaks my heart just to know

Yes I’ve lived slightly beside

What I’d call the life

The life that I wanted to lead

Like a vagabond soul

With a fear of the unknown

All I do is dream

So will you talk to me in the dark

Baby once more

Before you join the ones

That I used to know

Because everyone has gone

Yes everyone has gone

I woke up with everyone gone

Song for Nova

Nova you’re dying from

From a failing adult world

Been taking care of your sisters

Since the day

That you learned to walk the earth

And all the responsibilities

The rearing and the baby screams

No wonder things are worse

Than they seem

Forget about your homework

Or meeting up with friends

There’s more pressing matters

To attend to again

Because now you know

Now you know baby

Now you know darling

Yes you learned it the hard way

That there’s no one

There’s no one in the universe

People got their own problems

My friend

Someday you will live your life

And make up for every dream

Every dream you put aside

But right now

You’re waking up your father

And making sure to hide whatever

He’s prone to use for his mood

Yes you grew up too soon

Is everything alright

Real people, where can they be found?

Real people where can they be found

I cried out one demanding night

I know that there are others

People just like me

But perhaps not in my

Not in my nearest vicinity

Baby when you went away

You know you took more than my heart

I often think about

The friendship that I lost

Here left among impostors

Lemmings turncoats

Cut from the same cloth

The language they speak I don’t get at all

And as the doors close shut

I stand and wait

For another one to open

Well I hear you’re getting wasted

In the company of open folks

Kindred spirits scattered about

I cry out will you just take me out

Because life is happening somewhere

It just isn’t here

And perhaps nowhere near

Not even in this hemisphere

I lie in bed and sense

There’s something wrong

Maybe real or just illusion

Well I think about your lifestyle

And of this emptiness that I hide

Always fleeting relationships in the end

Let’s talk of the past

Let’s talk about wounds

That won’t heal

Of how and why we came to be like this

I wrote your name before in the hall

In the school corridor

15 years ago did you know did you know

That I held on to something

This hunger and thirst

Seeking acceptance and dying for love

Yes I held on to something and anyone

For comfort in strangers dying for love

We wasted time each on our own

You and I

On people who never cared about us

And we still do this sometimes

And now do you know do you know

What they were

Fleeting relationships from the start

To the end

But I hold on to something dying to bond

For someone to consider

A friend of my own

Yes I hold on to shadows and no one at all

For comfort in strangers dying for love

It’s always the same

A new face another name

People enter your life

And leave after a while

The unknown

You’re lost

And no one can tell you where you are

And you ask for directions

Met by cold reflections of the stars

Now there’s a rumor

They’re calling out your name

Please don’t go

That those who venture

Too far won’t ever come home


But the suffocating structure of your days

As you packed each crate

And marked it and sent it

To be shipped away

And dreamed that someday

You’d just climb into and disappear

Like in the movies

A new life waiting for you there

At the edge of the world

You’re lost

Been walking around in circles for a month

And you peek through the windows

At the people in the houses

Having second thoughts

But you’re growing older

As the world around you keeps on turning

Thinking over

Every opportunity you never took before

To see the edge of the world

You’ll feel at home soon I’m sure

At the edge of the world

I live in a train station

You shed your skin today

And leave your past behind

A new start a new place

A chance to redefine


But how long will you be staying

Will you settle for a while

You know I’ve lived here long enough

And I think I know the type

Soon you’re gone

Soon you’re gone

A stray cat another and one single rock

Stuck to the ground overgrown with moss


Still tomorrow

Will you hold me tight in your arms

Hold me until the night has gone

Yes hold me darling hold me close

And stay like this until morning comes

A temporary stop

For scholars and vagabonds

A city bursting with life

But then a ghost town

Each time that summer comes

Transient folk that you never get to know

A train station of size inhabited by

Two hundred thousand lives

So about tomorrow

A lifetime of worries

I worry about you sometimes

And what you’re prone to do

Will you handle a disaster

Like all the strong people do

If you see no joy in tomorrow

Or a reason to start anew

When the sunlight hits your window

All through the evening blues

Then I don’t know what to do

Weakness is usually frowned upon

Kept hidden at any cost

We walk around pretending

Trying to look so hard

But I worry about the future

And I worry about you

About money work and finding friends

People who I can turn to

Well maybe tomorrow

Things will work out some way

You’re hijacked by sorrow

Seems there’s no escape

From this lifetime of worries

Among the eloquent idiots

I happen to stumble upon

A genuine expression

Someone to call home

In the blink of an eye a knowing smile

Saying we all will die sometime

So don’t be too hard on yourself

Just take one day at a time

Because maybe tomorrow

Things will work out some way

You’re hijacked by sorrow

Seems there’s no escape

From this lifetime of worries

Lost in a city

I miss your scent in the dark

I look for you tirelessly

To grab your body hard

The moon’s pulled up

The moon’s pulled down again

Over streets crowded with primal urges

Four legged residents

And I end up with some people

Who won’t greet me

The next time I meet them

And I wonder

I wonder where you are

And I talk to you

Over long distance calls

And darling

I’ll be here if you change your mind

Forever or for a night

And as dawn breaks

When the turmoil within subsides

My surroundings are

Again familiar for a few hours

But I always end up with some people

Faceless strangers with distorted features

I guess many go through this

In some form or another

Me I’m lost in a city

I’ve called my home forever


You wake up one cold lonely night

Among possessions stockpiled

And wonder what happened

Yes you wonder what happened

While you were away

It’s so much different today

Well first you avoided the calls

From friends and drinking buddies

Then when your back was turned

Everyone grew up

And took you for dead

Well in a sense you were dead

Choosing freedom instead


School is cruel

Things will get better

Once we’re through with school

Things will get easier bunny

That’s what they told you

They gave you a hard time

Well it’s no news

They gave you a hard time now bunny

All that you had to go through


Yes I know that school is cruel

When the food chain’s led by wolves

And that you longed for adulthood

Put your faith in your ideals

Write the songs you want to hear

Of a life happening elsewhere


I would hide out of sight

While waiting for class

I’d imagine the future

Oh how I longed for that

What they taught us at school

Was submission and rules

Survival of the fittest

In the name of education some will lose


Yes I know that school is cruel

With tormentors free to rule

And still years to adulthood

So hold on to your ideals

Write the songs you want to hear

Dream your way out of here


Dream your way out of here

There’s another world out there

Your life is happening elsewhere

It’s happening elsewhere


Who will comfort you?

Do you wonder who will love you

When he’s gone

And if there’s anyone


You don’t have to worry

They’ll come

Just take care of yourself

In the meantime


Now who will comfort you

When crying is all you do

I was never very strong

So please don’t say

That life goes on


Listen, yes it’s happened

Yes it’s happened to others

They break up

Former lovers

You’re not the first one

Not the last

That this has happened to

Still it hurts in a way that you never thought it would do


Their contentment made them arrogant

The couples don’t call anymore

People that you used to know

You go down to the local pub

Looking for friends from before

Just to feel someone close


Who will comfort you


Cursed with survival

Oh sailor sailor where did you go

Washed up on a desert shore

We were heading for home a long time ago

45 men delivering cargo

When a storm broke out in a foreign time zone


For seven long years now I’ve been searching for

Life on the horizon I’ll have you know

But all I see is sand the ocean

A prisoner cursed with survival

Is there anyone out there someone



Oh say say sailor where did you go

Your friends all sleep now on the ocean floor

Each night I long for my wife my family

My girls have grown up now my babies

I hope they’re doing alright we’ll meet again

In the afterlife


You deserve more

A soft knock at her door

It must have been around four

She woke up from her sleep

You said hey it’s just me

You told her about your newfound love

And showed her what he’d done

You said mama it’s alright

Can I stay for the night?


Bruises on your forearm

He promised that he meant no harm

And what do you do

You’re in love

You’re in love with that fool


Tears were running down your cheeks

As you ran out to the street

And promised you would never return

And that you deserved more

But that was long ago

These days you don’t care anymore

You just hide in the terror of your home

Still you deserve more


Police came by one night

Said that neighbors had heard a fight

Between the couple upstairs

And that she sounded scared

And the cries of a newborn child

Claims which your husband denied

And you were too ashamed to tell the truth

About the abuse


You called your mother on the phone

Still pregnant with your second one

And asked her what she would have done

She said you deserve more

But these days you confide

You confide in no one

Afraid to break up the family

For the sake of your sons


No place to go

Still you deserve more


I want to belong

A cold wind is blowing

Blowing all dead leaves off

Bells are ringing

You put on your coat

To clear your mind and take a walk

A walk around the block


You longed for the city

The neon lights and gritty streets

Up close it’s not that pretty

Now a year has gone

This town is cold and the heart

Remains a lonely hunter


You see I just wanted to belong


You lie awake at night

As cars keep rushing down the streets

And as people pass by

Been searching for connection

For contact and community

How hard can it be


Sometimes you wonder

If it’s time to pack your things and go

Move back home

Stay a little longer

For maybe you will find a friend

Who’s dying to get to know you


Wake up from your electronic hallucinations

Hey there wake up from your nightmare

Your old hallucinations

Surrounded by a field

Of less than truthful information

Your fingers numb

Too numb to even



To feel a beating heart

Real life people seem far apart

A life like in a coma

Ever since I came to know you


Merely digital delusions

A life on hold due to distractions

Still you starve for connection

Yes for any type of contact

All pacified

Consumed by

The opium of your time


You watch the able ones

Live lives you’ve only dreamt of

They’ve seen heartbreak and joy

Love fear and disappointment

You’ll find success and failure

Just around the corner


If you’d wake up

Yeah wake up

To feel a beating heart


Young mother

I grew up in an orphanage

Near the house where my family lived

My mother couldn’t feed all my brothers and me

There were no other alternatives


Now I vowed to never

Let my children experience

The same kind of life

A childhood like mine


I moved to a country

Where women were allowed to study

A chance to break free from a life in poverty

And of what was expected of me

Expected of me


I graduated as a nurse

The same year as the war broke out

And after my second child was born

The babies’ father left


Young mother

Raising children on your own


Shell shocked

I treated the weak and the wounded

Snipers outside the hospital grounds

Seems I’ll be once again uprooted


An unacceptable condition

Not what I had in mind of the future

Babies depending on me

As the civil war intensified


Nursing home

Oh in the final stages of life

They arrive

At the nursing home

Visits are few and far between

At the last of stops


She listens to stories of

Of happy lives

And of some heartbreaking too


Oh Lona

You work at the nursing home

Caring for the folks who

Spend their last days alone

Some are lost

They sit beside the window

Observing busy people

Remembering days long gone


She said I used to walk past that place

So many times

And catch a glimpse of the face

Of my own grandfather

I felt such guilt

Yes I felt such shame


That I always

Came with an excuse

Something about a career

The whole time he was admitted there

Today I work here

Now that he’s gone

I guess this must be my way

Of trying to make up


It’s my way my way


Embrace what you are

Whatever you do

Whatever you do

Whatever path you choose

Embrace what you are

Whatever that may be

Whoever that may be

You’ll see

What you pending between little one

Plain torture and days in the sun

A zone of war don’t you know who you are

A failed troubadour nothing more

Embrace it

Embrace it


Sometimes we learn

Sometimes we learn

That we’re nothing more than the sum

Of what we loath in others

And in order to change

One must face

Acknowledge and embrace

You may find out that you really like

What you’ve been hating your whole life

It’s called falling in love

Reveal your weakness what you hide

The soft tissue under those spined spikes

It’s alright

It’s alright


Some pick on the weakest after sensing their fears

Just a droplet of blood

Or the trace of a tear

Is all that it takes

She’s submerged in a tank

A tank full of sharks

Making a joint assault


Some they pick on the weakest

After sensing their fears

Or slight hesitation

But I do find it debatable

What’s considered a strength

What’s considered a weakness


Thank god it’s not me who’s visibly bleeding

Ripped to shreds by these carnivorous beings


A person a being

Trapped and breathless

In a zoo called city

Never show any fear

Some they thrive on other’s fears

Keep a stone face at all times


This contempt we carry for weakness in general

Dictates the urban law of the jungle

Let’s Make Babies

”let’s make babies honey
how about three or four
why should we be waiting
we’re not that young anymore”
it’s not the best of prospects
when you’re in between jobs
sharing a flat with strangers
just to cover costs
it’s cold and stark
two people lying naked in the dark
young and in love
but what do they know
about what they must undergo
think you’re old enough
”let’s have babies baby
i’m ready when you are
we’ll take our sons and daughters
to the playground and parks
so when i mention this burning
notion to you
would you recognize darling
what i want to do
how cute wouldn’t they be
half you half me
curly-haired lazy-eyed”
but what do you guys know
maybe you should take it slow
for a while
The Knower
what do you know, know about love
the modern oracle the knower of the world
won’t you tell me
you’ve been studying the great philosophers
in detail one by one word after word
yet you remain alone under the sun
perplexed beyond reason
that rhetoric speech those empty words
and every grand line that you’ve memorized
won’t you shove it, shove it
what people want is not someone
who can prove, prove them wrong
they’d much prefer kindness son
you should have known
so drop that encyclopedia
and give me an example of
the quality of empathy
a social curiousity
the people here below you know
nothing of the things that you care for
still their smiles
priceless and genuine
Amanda, What Have You Done?
amanda what have you done
you were looking for a friend
looking for a friend and found none
from an old apartment on a demanding day
there was gunshot and life
life ended at 28
you were tortured by hope
but chances are low
of escaping the fate of growing
growing sad and old
i know it’s not what you wanted
i know it’s not what you wanted
i know it’s not what you wanted
i guess looks don’t amount to much
if life is spent unhappy in the living room living room couch
and all that money useless useless
when that was all that you had to show for
the riches of a princess
it could not be bought
it could not be bought
someone to call you up and say ”let’s go for a walk”
but would it have made any difference
or would it just have postponed
the inevitable
Losing Touch
ember i heard your heroes died after all
like they did to the rest of us
as we moved on
so you lost contact with something you held dear
the chapters and characters
yes they all disappeared
should you hold on or just let go
ember i wonder what did you really think
that your self-glowing self
wouldn’t twist and shrink
me i had friends and even more plans
now they seem to belong to a different man
should you hold on or just let go
i don’t know
remember this darling you were dancing all night
i don’t know
remember this darling you were dancing all night
admiring shells is a hollow experience
once these pages brimmed with words
now forever unread unheard
but i don’t care anymore
i was young but now i’m old
i was burning now i’m cold
i can’t hold on to yesterdays
but i remember sharp pain and occasions of joy
i remember the ambitions of a girl and a boy
Diving Into Another Person
i think i might have misjudged
a miscalculated plunge
we peeled the skin off of each other
and found nothing but strangers
i think i hit a brick wall
the hardest surface of all
thought i’d trust intuition
when i form a decision
when i form a decision
and how about you
and the persona you’re trying so hard to live up to
so you felt disappointed
wasn’t i what you wanted
wasn’t i what you wanted
she said
”i thought you were a keeper
perhaps a bit deeper
yes i thought you were deeper”
well i wasn’t
Looking For The Flesh And The Blood
hey it’s me again now sister
still wandering through halls
the dark corridors
i was living in a body farm
amongst heads and breasts and hearts
and though both of us grew up together
i seem like
the only one only one only one
looking for the flesh and the blood
only one only one
looking for the flesh and the blood
i’ve been tracking down all types of kicks
and checking folks for pulse
a skulking ghost
just looking for the flesh and the blood
you see
someone tangible
because i don’t want to be
the only one only one only one
looking for the flesh and the blood
only one only one
looking for the flesh and the blood
hey stranger where are you going
will you take me with you
will you
we walk past each other
from time to time
do you work somewhere around here
or perhaps live nearby
the only one only one only one
looking for the flesh and the blood
only one only one
looking for the flesh and the blood
Staring Into A Screen
if you were to sum up this past year
would you agree that maybe you’ve given up my dear
all you’ve learnt what good was it for
when everything you need is delivered straight
straight to you door
you’re staring into a screen
morning turns to evening
baby you’re lost to a dream
of what’s being televised
you catch others live their lives
baby you’re lost in some scene
before we had this technology
do you think our lives stood still staring by the window sill
mama she told you that when she was young
the kids would play with each other they would rely
rely on one another
you’re staring into a screen
morning turns to evening
baby you’re lost to a dream
of what’s being televised
you catch others live their lives
baby you’re lost in some scene
don’t you miss the company
of another human being sometimes
or is it the other way around
that your loved ones all left town over time
you’re staring staring
you’re staring staring
at the same old screen
you’re waiting waiting
you’re waiting waiting
for a life to begin

I could never get close to you
Oh lady you went and decided that it would be best to hide it
Any feelings for another man or feelings at all
Sure you’d love to talk of silly things like forthcoming happenings
But with subjects that I need to discuss,‭ ‬no response
But I love you does that mean anything
Yes I love you does that mean anything to you
To you
But I love you does that mean anything
Yes I love you does that mean anything to you
To you
I could never get close to you the way you’re always close to me
A mind of stone and a body of steel won’t feel
But will it keep you very warm at night will it keep you warm at night
Forever my dear forever
I love you does that mean anything‭
I’m your man my intentions are sincere
Can’t you hear‭?
You say‭ “‬yeah boy I bet you are
In another time and space I’d have bought
That phrase
From you
The men from before
All spent my money stripped me off
Broke my heart now let me go‭”

This bird doesn’t sing anymore
This bird doesn’t sing
This bird doesn’t sing
It doesn’t sing anymore
Its babies have flown off into the night
Out of those who survived
So what am I supposed to do
This house is now a mansion
And there is cold air seeping through
Never before noticed
A trajectory set
Set in stone
To build a new home
And prepare for the winter
And fight off those
Who were after my young
I never questioned anything
I had a sense of purpose
And I sang for survival
For me and my babies
For me and my species
The clock has stopped
At 4:04
The seasons do not
Change anymore
Better get used to the silence
Yes chirping has turned into silence
Say you will come visit
At least once in a while


We fell asleep in each other’s arms and never woke up again

We fell asleep in each other’s arms and never woke up again

It must have been the best dream

It must have been the best dream

I’ve been out walking late at night with this notion inside

That someone’s watching over me

I think there’s more than what you see

But why is everyone gone

I thought this was open for anyone

Then it struck me that the world

Is just a reflection of my perception

I fell asleep at once it usually takes me loads of pills

It must have been the best dream

It must have been the best dream

I dreamt of guardians and accordions

Then animals talking birds

And a girl watching over me

Much closer than may seem

There are loads of pills on the floor

Spread out to burn once and for all

I resign from the demands of this world

It’s just so sad to watch you all conform

There are loads of pills on the floor

There’s a person I’d like to know

There’s a sky never shown

There’s a dream I’ll never wake up from

The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter

the heart is a lonely hunter
howling out in empty space
the wind carries the sound across a barren
and deserted placeyour pack is maybe out there
somewhere out on this vast void
the wind carries your legs to the sounds of heartbeats
countless of miles away
don’t you know
the hunger you think is your own
can be found in everyone
we’re in this together and alone
what does it take
to hunt night and day
for the one who took your soul
and replaced it with a hole
whispers hit the stained glass windows
and through the halls your name echoes
just listen to everybody else
singing out their souls

the heart is a lonely hunter
we’re howling for some other one
the image of sleeping safe and sound
is coursing through the heart and soul

to call your own

there’s a mine of gold in your neighborhood
just thought you should know
it’s the apartment just across the street
have you been there before
don’t waste your time with circles
you’ll never draw a perfect one
don’t count your money forever
the treasure you seek lies in another one

“but i can’t engage in what i can’t control”
the stupidest thing i’ve heard
there’s more to lose than your expensive shoes
and more to be won
don’t waste my time with arguments
that’s not what we are here for
don’t count your steps forever
just open my door

there’s a mine of gold in you neighborhood

Kuchisake Onna
you roam the streets covering your mouth
it stretches from your left ear to the right
looking for somebody to confirm
that you’re still as beautiful
as you ever werea permanent smile designed
by the rage of your lover samurai
now you hide behind a surgical mask
and when it comes off i’ll answer yes
to what question you might have
for me
for everyone
you see
in the wake of the morning fog
the slit-mouth woman’s ghost takes off

Alone In A Space Shuttle
you think the sun won’t come your way
unless you lead yourself astray
alone in a  shuttle in outer space
like you never belonged to the human race

well maybe you were raised by the moonfolk
maybe you’re just homesick
it’s alright

it must be silent where you are
passing through the stars
alone in a galaxy weightless
like you never belonged to the people like us

Silent Days
i woke up in the midst of a silent day
outside the signs of rain
it felt like everyone had left the planet
and were light years away
but you know how it is to feel like
the world’s loneliest man
struggling to find a meaning
to conjure up a plan
i’m thinking about you

67 blocks away from me
lives a very special one
she’s glued to her unplugged television
from day to dawn
she knows how it is to feel like
you’re living under a rock
too heavy to lift or to carry
how do other people go on?
i’m thinking about you
that’s what i do

will it stay the same
only silent days?

From The Glass Jar
someone is thinking of you all the time
in a jar of glass both of you live inside
maybe you wonder who pulls up the moon every night
maybe you wonder who lights up the stars for your eyes
i would

the note that you found left on the ground it was for you
it told about two separate lives mon amour
the first one was dying to smash that jar around her
the second one he held out his hand for any life
out there
i know who pulls up the moon every night
i know who lights up the stars for my eyes
it’s you

An Ounce Of Courage
you see that building upon the street
i used to live up there
on campus near the academy
that’s where i shared
the smallest room
with a content fool
from there i watched you represent
another world
that i wanted so much to be
a part of
a life lived by the window
it’s as tragic as it sounds
i’d take you by the hand
at least i’d let you know
why i carved your name that day
in the school hall
if i called you up today
and told you all that stuff
would you even recognize me?
probably not

you see there wasn’t that much to do
i was new in town
except for reading and watching the tube
and i saw you making out
with what was his name again
i never got your taste in men
now we’ve grown and it’s such
a long long time
since you married that man
the architect guy
if you end up a widow (i can take care of that)
or if you’re on the rebound

i’ll take you by the hand
at least i’ll let you know
why i carved your name that day
in the school hall
if i called you up today
and told you all that stuff
would you even recognize me?
probably not

you’d most likely hang up
i think you’d just hang up
don’t hang up
don’t you hang up

The Firm Conviction
why’d you go and act this way and claim that we’re all
living a lie, what are we so oblivious of
how can anyone stay so sure of
herself, when things change from day to daywe’d give it all for the firm conviction
tell us what to know, tell it to the ones
who have none
yes we would die for the firm conviction
something concrete to hold
a faith of stone
the firm conviction

just about as solid as rock in the meltdown of unbelievers
always with a smile and the book held close to your chest
inside it holy words inscribed straight from the horse’s mouth
would you be so kind as to sum up the essential parts for us

now i would like to know for certain
if how i live is right or wrong
well come on
you claim to have the answer
you seem to have the facts
the right path in your hands

Manic Miner
someday girl you’ll hit that vein and laugh at these tough years
and say they were essential for what you obtained down there
but still on the other side you wonder is there an end
to the struggle to get where one wants to the time spent

a manic miner never looking up only ahead
at the obstacle separating her from success
there must be something about here to burst disrupt my curse, you say
it’s the one thing occupying me as i hack relentlessly

dig day and night
i dig day and night

i hope you guys are ok everyone up there
soon enough i’ll join you after i bring this to an end
a handful of riches at an arms length
a fistful of promises waiting down below my friends


Age Of The Hermit
27 people living in separate boxes
in the community here they’re as cautious as foxes
we’re born and we’ll die without knowing each other
dreaming the same dream sisters and brothers
it’s the age of the hermit
can they hear me from down there going on with my business
careful not to disturb or risk getting evicted
you may call me a fool a contact-seeking fool
but we’re dreaming the same dream me and you
do you want to live like that
i don’t
so get used to this way of living today
we chose it for ourselves maybe it’s the price we pay
for independence yeah we’re self sufficient
no one needs another so why should i bother
i don’t want to live like that
like a raft in the middle of the ocean
you cling to your only foundation
so tight
where would you wrap your arms if not around him
a biker on a mission
hold on as the wind blows in the night
as the city shrinks from you behind
something plays out
out of your reach and grasp
distance remains
no matter how fast you travel
long were the days
long were the months and years
long were the faces that never heard a goodbye
from you
there was so much you had to do
sometimes i wake up in the night
and with a sting in my heart
i remember that time
with james i welcomed the unknown
but i moved back home and he moved on
and we never could find that place
that we set out to find
last night got me thinking
that here i am sinking


It’s night and the telescope sighs

Of a newborn baby star tonight

It shines

Distant yet closer than anything

I can touch or see with my naked eye

I chose to dissipate and devote myself to live

And drift across the skies

And on the stars seen at night

Distant and painfully aware

Of the things I miss and the things I choose to dismiss

I wonder how they feel

I wonder what they do

I wonder if their satellites

Have come to any use

Is someone somewhere

Waving hello

Crying in agony

Smiling in sympathy


There is a swimmer on the loose

She swims across oceans of blue

Her fins are ripples in the water

Once someone’s lost daughter

There is a swimmer on my mind

Communicating on a horizontal line

Where is she I wonder

Where is she I ponder

Green was the ocean

Grey was the sky

Red was her heart

But with lifeless black eyes

Like a shark’s

I had a second of heaven

I touched it for a while

It came to spoil all I loved

In my everyday life

Swimmer never think that

You’re alone out there tonight

There are a million choices out there

You chose to merge with the sea

We all miss you from up here

With all our benevolence

She left as a heretic

But I still sense here presence

Woman in the Corner

That woman there in the corner

Is waiting for you to arrive

She’s been sitting there for a while now

With the same glass of wine

Is it a virtue in your world

Or a sadistic twist

In your personality

To be cruel

Well I don’t know what they say

Back at your mother’s place

But I know for sure

That you’ll end up alone

If you keep treating people that way

And so she felt she had all eyes on her

Laughing at that silly girl

Just sitting there all by herself

Humiliated and fooled by the world

Or so it seemed

She’d gone and dyed her hair

And bought a dress

For this special occasion

Things you do to impress

You’re a betrayer of trust

For not showing up yes you are

Yes you are


It’s not right how the clock has its own will

When it comes to you and me and the time in between

Rapunzel you’re waving with that wand in your hand command

You talk about your sister who don’t really exist

You talk about your brother all imagining

Stories of some which I’ve read before you talk

You can’t escape yourself you can’t escape the past

You can’t escape the person in the looking glass

She scared as everybody else out there

Except she knows it

Your hair is growing long alone in that tower

A static view consisting only of flowers

Waiting for some savior I’ll wait with you right here

Day turns to night night turns to day

Joy turns to fright for how long will you stay

Maybe we should accept this fate

Or do something about it

I’ve heard it being done before


Someone sent you letters sender unknown

Receiving strange messages through the telephone

About a vacant house not too far from your home

Unoccupied since 1934

Shadows are appearing the ceiling changes form

Silhouettes and marionettes a puppeteer’s show

Listen to whispers that penetrate your head

Or stay in your bed

And through the window come flowers randomly cut

Cut down to fragments the letters form words

Given a quest a mission a test

To the worlds laziest you don’t know your own best

It’s like it made me a vampire what unfortunate state

Someone must have known that I visited that place

It was never my intention to stand beside

The machine in action or in the sunlight

Other people

It’s getting late

You promised you would show

And deliver some new faces

The people that you know

The people in the building

How come they seldom talk

Are they stuffed or just speechless

What’s behind their masks of chalk

That woman there in the corner

Is sticking tulips in her mouth

That scatterbrained man on the ledge

Will take three more people down

At times like these you question

What you really know

And what to reexamine

About the people that you know

At times like these you discard

What you really know


Only when it’s winter

Only when it’s dark

Only when you’re sleeping

Are you free to take off

The mask that you loathe

The thing that protects

The item that pays you the rent

A jester in a show

A one man act

A demand from the masses

It taunts and harasses

Only then are you seen and heard

Was there ever anyone out there in the crowd

Who saw between the jokes

That the tricks were just a hoax

The smiles were just painted

Smeared and tainted

A jester in a suit

Once came to town

And stayed for ages

Stuck between the pages

Sleeper’s cache

I heard you often wondered what I used to do

Asking odd questions to the people I knew

What you doing alone in your room

This day is almost gone I’m thinking of you

Will you tell me about the wonder

The wonder of your will

The force of your nature

The nature of your force

Well me I’m altering and tinkering programming defragmenting

Sitting on a stool just posing for the mirror

I found the sleeper’s cache I never want to go back

I’d rather just swallow these pills and die of a heart attack

Song for a boy, friends with toys

I create my friends plastic flawless and devoted

To stay ‘til the end what on earth was I thinking about

To contact the people the people here have enough to do

And about fiddling with toys they bring me such tremendous joy

Song for a boy friends with toys

Under a sheltered orb miles away from planet earth

Is where I was born waving to you

I laugh and I cry and I sing all those things all those things

In front of myself and for the creatures designed to respond

Song for a boy friends with toys

You seek approval in the wrong people

Girl you’re state of mind really gets in your way

In terms of ambitions or the simplest play

And your eyes are like productive clouds

They tend to dry your body inside and out

I was waiting for you yesterday

I stood half an hour in the rain

For someone who never came

Such regret such shame

These situations we do create

Are they versions of life self-made

From home you watch the walking thoughts

People coming home from their jobs

And you wonder what those men do

The women who are passing you

They’re all extensions of the same one core

From the politician to the whore

How much do we choose what’s there to lose

What’s there to win what’s the excuse

These situations we do create

Are they versions of life self-made

You seek approval in the wrong people

You grab a hold on all that’s tangible

Afraid to fail before those who hurt you

The only ones you know

This is Christmas for a skipping heart

This is friction between the ones you are

A two-headed monster fighting over

Which one to break and which one’s the destroyer

This one will end up as the boy upstairs

Who always wanted but never dared

His dying muses did crumble and decay

And washed off the colors on a rainy day


Do you know who this guy is

The one who gave you the pills

And made you see through all houses

He works for the eye of the pyramid

I think he’s got some connections

I do think he decides your directions

I think it would be easier for you to go

And apply for a job at the company

They may offer you your first salary

‘cause what this hedonism does

Is feed your sloth and eventually

It will question your life in eternity

Is it freedom you’re looking for

A life meaning something more

Integrity or stupidity

Idleness or insanity

‘cause they’re watching you you know